From: "L-Soft list server at Indiana University (1.8d)" To: "ARTF@MemoryAlpha.nil" File: "LOISCLA-GENERAL-L LOG0011A" ========================================================================= Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2000 18:00:40 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Melisma Subject: Re: NEW: Why Lois Stays Out of Kitchen (Part 01/01) In-Reply-To: <20001031000347.90109.qmail@web10404.mail.yahoo.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" TeeHeeHee! This was cute, Anne, thanks for posting it here first :) Melisma (happily starting a new folder in her fic archive, here under her rock) Visit my rock at http://www.intergate.ca/personal/melisma/index.html ========================================================================= Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2000 23:28:21 -0700 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Becky Bain Subject: Re: NEW: Metanoia (1/10) In-Reply-To: <61.887faba.2730f194@aol.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed Christy said: >I was just getting quite >anxious after sending the story out, then going four days without hearing >anything, not even a grumpy "get this spew off my monitor!" to give me an >indication of how it was being received. Because of time constraints, I pretty much don't read stories posted here unless they are very short, but when I saw the header announcing a new Martha Chronicles story I gave a little bounce in my chair and thought something along the lines of, "Oh, good, it'll be on the archive soon, I can hardly wait!" (This despite the fact that I've got two weeks worth of new archive stories printed out and waiting for me to have time to read them!) So whatever you do, don't quit writing this, and don't forget to send it to the archive! Becky rbain@uswest.net "People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading." - Logan Pearsall Smith ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 11:49:17 +0100 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Kaethel Subject: Question for a fic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Hey guys! I need some information from the Americans on the list. :) In a married couple, if the husband is found guilty of a number of crimes, and ends up in prison, can his wife demand a divorce and obtain it? I mean, is her husband forced to sign the papers, even if he doesn't want to, or can he prevent her from getting a divorce? Thanks :) Helene :) kaethel@club-internet.fr So We must meet apart - You there - I here - With just the Door ajar That Oceans are - and Prayer - And that White Sustenance - Despair - Emily Dickinson - I cannot live without you ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 12:16:11 -0000 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Wendy Richards Subject: Re: Question for a fic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Helene, Sheila dealt with this question in her recent fic 'In the Beginning' - in that, Lois had to wait until Lex agreed to the divorce. Wendy -------------------------- Wendy Richards w.m.richards@hrm.keele.ac.uk ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 07:24:49 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: "Ann E. McBride" Subject: Re: Question for a fic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit In a message dated 11/1/00 5:57:01 AM Eastern Standard Time, kaethel@CLUB-INTERNET.FR writes: > I need some information from the Americans on the list. :) In a married > couple, if the husband is found guilty of a number of crimes, and ends up in > prison, can his wife demand a divorce and obtain it? I mean, is her husband > forced to sign the papers, even if he doesn't want to, or can he prevent her > from getting a divorce? > > It probably depends on the state. In Kentucky, where I live, we have "no fault" divorce, where one spouse can claim "irreconciliable differences" and the other spouse cannot prevent the divorce from being granted. The other spouse could tie up negotiations with regard to property division for a while, but even then, probably just for a few months. In some other states, it gets much more complicated and you might have to get the spouse's signature. I know that my brother and sister-in-law have spent a fortune on lawyers and close to 4 years and still aren't divorced in the state of Pennsylvania. So, my answer is, you can choose what style you want for your fic. Ann ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 12:57:56 +0000 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Phillip Atcliffe Subject: Re: Question for a fic In-Reply-To: <035f01c043fd$85d3a1c0$916105a0@hrm.keele.ac.uk> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=US-ASCII On Wed, 1 Nov 2000 12:16:11 -0000 Wendy Richards wrote: > Helene, Sheila dealt with this question in her recent fic 'In the Beginning' - in that, Lois had to wait until Lex agreed to the divorce. < _Until_ Luthor was convicted of multiple felonies, at which point he had a choice of either signing the papers or having Lois ask for a form of divorce which would not require his agreement. I can't remember the precise wording Sheila used, but the point was that Luthor had lost his right or ability to impede the divorce process once he was convicted. Phil, wondering why this thread has me remembering the different forms of Roman matrimony... ------------------------------------------ (Dr) P.A. Atcliffe Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Engineering University of the West of England, Bristol Phone: +44 (0)117 344 2496 Fax: +44 (0)117 344 2683 Email: Phillip.Atcliffe@uwe.ac.uk ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 09:56:35 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Charlotte Fisler Subject: Re: question/statement on copyright MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit In a message dated 10/27/00 3:34:14 PM !!!First Boot!!!, Phillip.Atcliffe@UWE.AC.UK writes: << While we're on the subject of comics, FoLCs might like to read the most recent issue of "Superman: Man of Steel" (issue number forgotten -- sorry), which features some good L&C interaction, including Lois saving Clark from being lost in the Phantom Zone. I was pleased; if this keeps up, I may start reading the comics more. The art's not that great, though. >> Phil Just thought I'd jump in here. You are more than right. DC, since late 1999 seems to be reaffirming the importance of the marital relationship between Clark Kent and Lois Lane. Case in point - the conclusion of the 'trouble with Lois' story line. I don't mean the fact that the mean Lois turned out to be a fake. I mean the succeeding search for the real Lois who is missing. The comic issue in which Clark with the help of Batman finds Lois tells a lot about Superman's and Batman's differing characteristics along with making it very clear that Lois is essential to SUPERMAN'S happiness. Way to go, DC IMHO. Please, please keep it up. Charlotte ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 10:16:16 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Dennis Arendt Subject: Re: NEW: Why Lois Stays Out of Kitchen (Part 01/01) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit This was very cute and funny. It reminded me of DTOSC and the whole I Love Lucy thing. This could only happen to Lucy and Lois. Thanks for posting this. Brenda ----- Original Message ----- From: Melisma To: Sent: Tuesday, October 31, 2000 6:00 PM Subject: Re: NEW: Why Lois Stays Out of Kitchen (Part 01/01) > TeeHeeHee! This was cute, Anne, thanks for posting it here first :) > > Melisma (happily starting a new folder in her fic archive, here under her > rock) > > > Visit my rock at http://www.intergate.ca/personal/melisma/index.html ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 16:54:47 -0000 Reply-To: LabRat Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: LabRat Organization: LabRat Subject: Quick Fanfic Question MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Hey guys :) Someone gave me the impression that in S1, Star Labs was owned by Lex. = Part of the LexLabs Division? Does anyone else remember if this was the = case?=20 Thanks. :) LabRat :) ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 18:09:40 +0100 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Kaethel Subject: Re: Question for a fic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Wendy, Ann, Phil, thanks a lot for your answers :) Okay, so I guess that being charged for murder would be a case where Luthor would have to sign the divorce papers, no matter what. Reassured, now . Helene :) kaethel@club-internet.fr So We must meet apart - You there - I here - With just the Door ajar That Oceans are - and Prayer - And that White Sustenance - Despair - Emily Dickinson - I cannot live without you ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 18:13:19 +0100 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Kaethel Subject: Re: Quick Fanfic Question MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit LabRat asked: >>>Someone gave me the impression that in S1, Star Labs was owned by Lex. Part of the LexLabs Division? Does anyone else remember if this was the case?<<< I think StarLabs was owned by Luthor and that's why he could get his hands on Kryptonite in THOL. I can't know for sure, but I've always supposed that what he had to build the K-cage came from the piece that had been sent by Irig in GGGOH to be analysed. Considering it was always Dr Klein who took care of everything kryptonite-related, and that he worked at StarLabs, I think that's a good bet that StarLabs was a subdivision of LexCorp, at least until Luthor's suicide, and that the kryptonite stayed there even after. Hope this helps :) Helene :) kaethel@club-internet.fr So We must meet apart - You there - I here - With just the Door ajar That Oceans are - and Prayer - And that White Sustenance - Despair - Emily Dickinson - I cannot live without you ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 19:00:07 +0100 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Kaethel Subject: Re: Quick Fanfic Question MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit LabRat, Forget my previous answer... I just checked the tape of Metallo, and in the opening scene (the one with Lois and Clark in the cafe), they're discussing about labs in Metropolis, and mention two labs: LexLabs, which is 'out of business', and StarLabs, which 'laid off half of their workers because of defense cut backs'. They don't seem to imply StarLabs was ever a subdivision of LexLabs, but rather a rival laboratory. Helene :) kaethel@club-internet.fr So We must meet apart - You there - I here - With just the Door ajar That Oceans are - and Prayer - And that White Sustenance - Despair - Emily Dickinson - I cannot live without you ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 13:19:53 -0500 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Wendy Richards Subject: Re: Quick Fanfic Question The reason I thought that STAR Labs was once owned by Luthor was something I think was mentioned in DTOSC - and I haven't watched that for a while, so my memory may be faulty. The Kryptonite is stolen from STAR Labs, and Lois and Clark are trying to work out who could have known it was there, and I had a vague recollection that at some point in all this discussion its previous ownership was mentioned. I could be wrong, though... it has been known! ;) Wendy ------------ Wendy Richards wendy@kingsmeadowcr.freeserve.co.uk ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 12:35:04 -0600 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Liz Berard Subject: Re: NEW: Metanoia (4/10) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I liked this...leaves me wondering what Grandmother is up to since Dr. Graves seems more afraid than interested in Martha. Can't wait till the next part. Liz Berard No Name Available wrote: > > TITLE: The Martha Chronicles 3: Metanoia > PART: 4/10 ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 07:56:34 +1100 Reply-To: "jenerator@ozemail.com.au" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Jenny or Joe Stosser Subject: birthdays MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I found this in my infobeat news dated October 30 - Actor Hamilton Camp is 66. Then I found this in the infobeat news dated November 1 - Actress Barbara Bosson is 61. Just thought you might like to know Jen jenerator@ozemail.com.au -*-This message is umop ap!sdn (Jenerator or Some1Else on IRC) -*- JenerEight on AIM -*- ICQ 11477318 Photos of David (8) and Megan (5) on the Stosser Family HomePage http//www.geocities.com/j_stosser Please sign our guestbook! ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 18:23:13 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: "Ann E. McBride" Subject: Re: Question for a fic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit In a message dated 11/1/00 12:16:46 PM Eastern Standard Time, kaethel@CLUB-INTERNET.FR writes: > Okay, so I guess that being charged for murder would be a case where Luthor > would have to sign the divorce papers, no matter what. > > Not at all, Helene. My ex-husband didn't have to sign anything. Not one single paper. (and he didn't.) So, if you give New Troy the same type of laws as Kentucky has, Lex wouldn't have to sign anything at all, either. Ann ========================================================================= Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 17:28:30 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: "Anne D." Subject: Re: NEW: Why Lois Stays Out of Kitchen (Part 01/01) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii melisma@INTERGATE.CA writes: > TeeHeeHee! This was cute, Anne, thanks for posting it here first :) > > Melisma (happily starting a new folder in her fic archive, here under her > rock) I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it! Thanks! d.arendt@WORLDNET.ATT.NET writes: > This was very cute and funny. It reminded me of DTOSC and the whole I Love > Lucy thing. This could only happen to Lucy and Lois. > Thanks for posting this. I never thought of Lucy when I wrote this, but I can see where that fits. Of course, I think of the relationship between Lucy and Ricky as being entirely different than that between Lois and Clark! Anyway, I'm glad you liked my story! Anne D. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? >From homework help to love advice, Yahoo! Experts has your answer. http://experts.yahoo.com/ ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 00:08:09 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: No Name Available Subject: Re: NEW: Metanoia (4/10) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit << I liked this...leaves me wondering what Grandmother is up to since Dr. Graves seems more afraid than interested in Martha. Can't wait till the next part. >> I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for the feedback :) Let's just say Grandmother is a bit too nosy and a bit too opinionated... I'm planning on posting approximately every other day, so I will send out part 5 tomorrow night, most likely. Christy attalanta@aol.com ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 09:28:05 +0100 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Kaethel Subject: Re: Question for a fic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Ann wrote: > Not at all, Helene. My ex-husband didn't have to sign anything. Not one > single paper. (and he didn't.) So, if you give New Troy the same type of > laws as Kentucky has, Lex wouldn't have to sign anything at all, either. /me thinks she might use Kentucky's laws . Thanks, Ann :) I don't know for sure how I'm going to handle this yet, but I wanted to make sure the divorce option was possible ;) Helene :) kaethel@club-internet.fr ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 02:11:05 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: "Irene D." Subject: Re: Fanfic Recommendation MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii --- John Debbage <106532.433@COMPUSERVE.COM> wrote: > I'd also like to add my recommendation for 'I Will > Always Love You' by > MLThomson. This is a lovely story with a very > original relevation. There > was a great deal of angst and a very interesting > plot. Once I started > reading I couldn't put it down. > > I'd also like to say to anyone who has not yet read > 'Strange Visitor > Revisited' by Irene Dutchak and Wendy Richards, that > they really must pick > this one up. It's a wonderful rewrite of S1 and, > although it's long, it > holds the reader's attention through every twist and > turn of the series - - > a great story by two great authors. > > Yours, > Jenni Debbage Jenni, I'm quite late responding, but thank you for the fanfic recommendation for 'Strange Visitor Revisited.' Wendy and I had a lot of fun writing it, and I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks again, Irene Who also recommends ML Thompson's 'I Will Always Love You.' It was just lovely! ===== sirenegold@yahoo.com __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? >From homework help to love advice, Yahoo! Experts has your answer. http://experts.yahoo.com/ ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 11:18:05 -0000 Reply-To: LabRat Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: LabRat Organization: LabRat Subject: Re: Quick Fanfic Question MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Thanks to everyone who helped out on this one. Still struggling to fit these facts into Lonesome...but, hey, that's the least of my problems. At least I have the background to work on now. Thanks! LabRat :) > The reason I thought that STAR Labs was once owned by Luthor was something > I think was mentioned in DTOSC - and I haven't watched that for a while, so > my memory may be faulty. The Kryptonite is stolen from STAR Labs, and Lois > and Clark are trying to work out who could have known it was there, and I > had a vague recollection that at some point in all this discussion its > previous ownership was mentioned. > > I could be wrong, though... it has been known! ;) > > Wendy > ------------ > Wendy Richards > wendy@kingsmeadowcr.freeserve.co.uk ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 13:25:33 -0500 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Kathy Brown Subject: Re: Question for a fic On Wed, 1 Nov 2000 12:57:56 +0000, Phillip Atcliffe < Phillip.Atcliffe@UWE.AC.UK> wrote: > I can't remember the >precise wording Sheila used, but the point was that Luthor had lost his >right or ability to impede the divorce process once he was convicted. As I remember the way Sheila wrote it, it was because Lex was convicted of trying to kill *Lois*, his wife, that Lois was able to dissolve the marriage with or without his consent. Once he was informed of this, that she didn't need his permission because he was in prison for trying to kill her, only then did he give in and sign. I got them impression from Sheila's story that Lois would still have eventually gotten the divorce, it would have just taken a lot longer. Lex's agreement just sped things up so she could finally get on with her life. But as many others have answered, it depends on the state and what "no fault" laws they have there. So Helene can choose whatever would work best for her story. :) Kathy ========================================================================= Date: Fri, 3 Nov 2000 13:32:21 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Dennis Arendt Subject: Fanfic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I am looking for a fic that I read a very long time ago and since then the old age moments have gotten worse. I remember that it was about Lois marrying Lord Kal-el and living on Krypton and the plans that the two of them had to make it a better place. And I believe that someone tried to kill Lois. I also remember the unicorns in the story. Many thanks in advance for any help that you can give me. Brenda ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 20:04:13 -0000 Reply-To: Yvonne Connell Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Yvonne Connell Subject: Re: Fanfic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit If it's unicorns, it's got to be Jenni . I believe the fic you're looking for is Universal Union, Book 2, by Jenni Debbage. Yvonne (yvonne@yconnell.fsnet.co.uk) > I am looking for a fic that I read a very long time ago and since then the > old age moments have gotten worse. > > I remember that it was about Lois marrying Lord Kal-el and living on Krypton > and the plans that the two of them had to make it a better place. And I > believe that someone tried to kill Lois. I also remember the unicorns in > the story. > > Many thanks in advance for any help that you can give me. > > Brenda > ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 12:09:19 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Nancy Smith Subject: Re: Fanfic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit This would be Jenni Debbage's "Universal Union" series. Nan Dennis Arendt wrote: > I am looking for a fic that I read a very long time ago and since then the > old age moments have gotten worse. > > I remember that it was about Lois marrying Lord Kal-el and living on Krypton > and the plans that the two of them had to make it a better place. And I > believe that someone tried to kill Lois. I also remember the unicorns in > the story. > > Many thanks in advance for any help that you can give me. > > Brenda ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 15:43:06 -0500 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: John Debbage <106532.433@COMPUSERVE.COM> Subject: Re: Fanfic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 I think that you already have the answer to this question. It is my Universal Union series and there are two books and the third is being written at the moment, though it might be some time before I start postin= g as I'm just on chapter 4. I expect that this might be quite a long story= , as like all my stories the ideas just keep growing. Yours Jenni Debbage ========================================================================= Date: Fri, 3 Nov 2000 16:57:17 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Dennis Arendt Subject: Re: Fanfic MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Yes, it was exactly what I was looking for. I'm going to start rereading this tonight...........and will be looking for the new one!!!! Brenda ----- Original Message ----- From: John Debbage <106532.433@COMPUSERVE.COM> To: Sent: Thursday, November 02, 2000 12:43 PM Subject: Re: Fanfic I think that you already have the answer to this question. It is my Universal Union series and there are two books and the third is being written at the moment, though it might be some time before I start posting as I'm just on chapter 4. I expect that this might be quite a long story, as like all my stories the ideas just keep growing. Yours Jenni Debbage ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 19:02:04 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: JaT Subject: 7 Days of Superman Part 29 Comments: To: 7days FanFic <7DaysFic@egroups.com>, BackStep Fiction , Tad Flowers , Dave and Debbie Harrison , Melanie , Backstep Operation , Vernon Terrell , Travel Time , Dad Tull , Danny Tull MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Title:Seven Days of Superman Author/pseudonym:Mr. D8A Fandom:Seven Days/Lois & Clark:The New Adventures of Superman Rating:PG-13 Status: PART 29 Archive: Yes E-mail address for feedback:mr_d8a@yahoo.com Series/Sequel: 7 Days/l&c:tTNAOS Crossover Other websites:BACKGROUND INFORMATION.SEVEN DAYS (Details supplied by http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/Launchpad/9329/SevenDays Disclaimers: Lois and Clark and the rest of the show's entourage are the property of DC, Warner, ABC, and Joanne Siegel and Laura Siegel Larson. Seven Days is the property of UPN. Summary:Superman fails to stop the nuking of Washington DC and gets some help from Frank B. Parker from Operation Backstep. Part: 29 +++++++++++++++++++++++ Wednesday, October 6, 1999 8:19:47pm EST Gulf of Mexico Isla de la Juventud beach +++++++++++++++++++++++ The flow of images stopped. Clark staggered at the sudden cessation. His brain was attempting to assimilate this new information and slow down to normal. He and Lex had ‘exchanged’ information that way before, but nothing so emotionally charged and never at that speed. Clark started to choke up. Again he sank to his knees but Lex didn’t bother to catch him this time. Clark’s heart was torn. He mourned the loss of his wife and the shattered childhood of his son. He could not fathom how Lex could have dealt with all trauma he experienced. Clark opened his eyes and looked up at the man his son had become. He could now easily see the child in the face of the man before him. Clark was to first to break the silence. “How…how did you keep that all bottled up inside of you all these years? To lose so many people that you cared about in so short a time. Mom and Dad knew that something terrible had happened to you before you came to us, but you never talked about it. I still remember the nights that you would wake up screaming, but Mom could never get you to talk about it.” Clark trailed off, a puzzled look on his face. Lex looked at Clark. It was so hard to consider him as his father; he’d known him as his brother for almost as long as he could remember. And yet, he had memories of being crippled, being raised by Lola ‘Lois’ Ellison, and being Clark Kent’s best friend. At least he had been able to save Nan this time. It was those memories of another life that had kept his soul afloat. At first he thought that it was just a fantasy world that he had made up, but over the years he realized they were something more. They were a hope that this could all be undone. He would much rather be this man’s son than his brother or friend. That’s why he had studied everything he could on time-travel and temporal mechanics. The Carper’s had been a big help in that regard. They had all tried, at one time or another, to make changes to the timeline. They had learned one important lesson: they could not. At least, they couldn’t change anything significant. Every time they had tried, they were prevented in some way. Usually, it just didn’t seem the thing to do. On the few occasions that they where able to shake the inner doubts, weird ‘accidents’ would happen, like when they ended up in Florida in 1970 when they first stepped through the portal. After a while they gave up and decided to wait until Clark came back from the past and then try to undo this mess using Operation Backstep. Olivia and Fred had already worked out the changes that Ballard would have to make to the Sphere to keep it from leaving this quantum shade and avoid Tempus’ temporal force field. That’s why the Sphere originally had shifted to this universe in the first place. It couldn’t get past the temporal force field set up on Frank’s world so it kept moving from one parallel to the next, following the path of least resistance until it ran out of power and it ended up in this universe. But before Clark and Lex could discuss all this, they had a missile to stop. “I’ll tell you all about it after I disable the missile. Can you fly yet?” Clark cast a glance and the starry sky and tried to levitate. He barely made it off the ground. He shook his head. He wasn’t going anywhere. “Okay, you stay here and I will go after the missile.” Fear crossed Clark’s face. “NO! I will not lose you a second time!” Lex looked fit to be tied. “Clark listen closely. I’m only going to say this. There is a missile heading for the heart of Metropolis. *You* are incapable of flying. I remember how Tempus programmed it in the first place. I plan to change its heading so that it will explode in space.” “You’re not going by yourself.” The look on Lex' face pained Clark’s heart. He'd seen that look before on both Lois’ and Lex’s faces. At least he now knew why. “Fine. If it will make you happy, you can mentally piggyback with me.” Clark was not happy about it, but he realized that he had no choice. He cleared his mind and reached out and ‘tagged’ Lex’s mind. He could now see himself from Lex’s position. He saw a man as vacant in heart as he was in mind. ((Let’s go catch a missile.)) +++++++++++++++++++++++ Wednesday, October 6, 1999 8:21:30pm EST Gulf of Mexico Isla de la Juventud beach +++++++++++++++++++++++ Lex scanned the sky for the thermal trail of the missile. Clark had to resist the temptation of being a backseat driver. Everything Lex saw, he ‘saw’. It was not like he could independently look out his son’s eyes. They both saw the missile at the same time. It had just crossed across the East Coast of Florida. It was moving at speeds not possible in this day and age. Lex quickly caught up with it, sort of. The missile was designed to avoid any object that came near it. It was already evading all the counter-measures that the military was throwing at it, which was making it an awfully hard target to get to. Lex’s main problem was to get within its detection field and stay there until he had implemented his plan. With each counter-move, it slowly revealed a pattern movement. After a short time, Lex was able to out-guess it and slipped in close. Around the same time, the military stopped taking pot-shots at it, now that they could tell one of the President's sons was in the game. This made sticking with the missile a lot easier. The control panel, however, was on the underside of the casing. This made it very hard on Lex. He had to fly upside-down, keep close to the missile, and focus on removing the panel in such a way as to not change the missile’s trajectory. He shot a couple of bolts of heat vision at the hinges and then super cooled them, until they were brittle. As he opened the panel, it snapped off, plunging into the waters below. ((Are you sure you remember what Tempus showed you when you were three?)) ((Are you saying that you don't trust me?)) ((Well…)) ((Blue is for altitude, green is for longitude, and yellow is for latitude. Basically I am going to re-program the altitude to have it strike a 'target' fifty miles above Metropolis. At that height, its explosion should be harmless. Ought to make for one heck of a light show.)) ((Okay, but at the first sign of trouble, you get your hind-end out of there, pronto.)) ((No problem-o.)) Looking at the console was all it took to bring back the memories of how to program the flying death wand. He changed the blue read-out from zero to fifty. The main read-out said "Thank you. Have a nice day." Lex peeled off and watched as the missile changed heading and made for the reaches of the upper atmosphere. ((Good job, Lex. Come pick me up, and let's go home.)) +++++++++++++++++++++++ Wednesday, October 6, 1999 8:35pm EST East Coast +++++++++++++++++++++++ Lex picked up Clark and started to head back toward Metropolis. The moonless night gave way to a miniature pale green sun. The missile had exploded. The problem was that instead of it being high up in space, it was only at the top of the Stratosphere. Lex was the first to notice that a hole the size of Rhode Island had been blow in the only protection the Earth had from the deadly UV radiation of the Sun, and its center was straight over Metropolis. The resulting blackout from the EM pulse and the spreading green, radioactive particles only added to the anguish of the two Kent men. ===== Phillipe: And what is your quest? Etienne Navarre: I must kill a man. Phillipe: Tell me--does this walking corpse have a name? -LadyHawke (1985) Smashing good movie. WIP for MR_D8A: 7 Days of Superman-TOC http://www.zoomway.com/boards/ubbhtml/Forum5/HTML/003005.html WIP for Elisabeth: Story of a Lifetime-TOC http://www.zoomway.com/boards/ubbhtml/Forum5/HTML/003563.html __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? >From homework help to love advice, Yahoo! Experts has your answer. http://experts.yahoo.com/ ========================================================================= Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 23:15:40 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: No Name Available Subject: NEW: Metanoia (5/10) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit TITLE: The Martha Chronicles 3: Metanoia PART: 5/10 AUTHOR: Christy Kubit (attalanta@aol.com) FEEDBACK: All comments are welcome, public or private. SUMMARY: In the third and (maybe) final part of the series, Martha returns home to attend to family problems and tries to maintain a long-distance relationship with Jonathan. * * * * * I stayed in Boston longer than I had originally intended. I had never set a concrete length of time for my stay, but in the back of my mind I had flirted with a week or two. But after a month I decided it didn't make sense to put a timetable on my visit. After all, I was there for my mother; when she seemed better - when she didn't seem to need me anymore - then and only then would I return to Kansas. She was discharged from the hospital after a four day stay, but home was more stressful than it had been at the hospital, and I didn't feel like she was ready for me to leave yet. I tried to put Jonathan out of my mind, but he was like an itch I couldn't reach to scratch. Thoughts of him, his family, and their farm, came to me at the oddest times: at first when I was driving to the hospital to see my mother; then later when I chose clothes to wear out to dinner with my grandparents or when I visited a beloved teacher at my old high school. And, after the first two weeks, Jonathan never called me. In the beginning he left messages while I was at the hospital: he was sorry; he didn't know what to do; he missed me. But his calls soon slowed, then stopped altogether. I decided he must be busy with the farm, closing down for the winter or whatever else people do on farms when it gets cold. And they had had strange weather in Kansas for months, beginning with the snowy October day Jonathan had first proposed. Maybe it was the anomalous weather that was making me feel so helter-skelter and confused. Talking with Jonathan on the phone - always after *I* called *him* - was the highlight of my week. And I didn't let myself call any more frequently than weekly; I knew it would be too easy to pack it all up and go back to Kansas, to leave my grandmother in the dust. But I also knew I couldn't do that to my mother; look what had happened when I was away the last time. It wasn't like I wanted to move to Boston permanently, but, as her only child, it was my duty to be there for my mother. Every day I found myself thinking, "Jonathan would like to see this," or "I wonder what Jonathan's doing right now." I tried to pretend I was seeing the city through his eyes, seeing my family through his eyes, and I noticed little things that I had never seen before, like the nest of sparrows on the ledge outside my bedroom window, or the crinkled brown leaves floating down the river like tugboats, stems sticking out, awaiting a cargo. I also saw my family in a new light. Pretending I was Jonathan, I saw the years piled up on my grandmother in the form of wrinkles, drooping her eyelids, compelling her to retire to her bedroom for afternoon naps, or siestas, as she called them. My grandfather's aging had been evident for years, but I was just beginning to notice the time catching up to Grandmother. For the first time I tried to see just *her,* instead of seeing her through the lens of "grandmother." Her need for control appeared different when I wasn't a part of the power struggle. In the cold light of reality, she was just a feeble old woman, clinging desperately to the shirttails of power; having succeeded in running - and ruining? - her daughter's life, she had started in on her granddaughter's. Why she was this way I didn't understand, and I doubted I ever could; I doubted *anyone* could. No, it was my mother I wanted to understand better. I had been a spectator for her marriage to my father, and now I wanted a glimpse at the playbook. Sophie had told me how her understanding of her own parents' marriage had improved after she married Walter. But my father died when I was sixteen, and I had been robbed of the opportunity to see my parent's marriage with the semi-unattached perspective of an adult. I knew that I couldn't - and didn't want to - understand everything; my parents were entitled their privacy, after all. I just wanted a glimpse, a small piece of understanding. But before I made a commitment to any marriage of my own, I needed to evaluate my parents' marriage, the bar to which I could compare my own relationship. Had my parents been happy together? What was their life like before my father's illness? Most of the answers to these questions remained secret, hidden somewhere in the mind of my mother, who didn't like to talk about such things, or so I had been told by my grandmother whenever she overheard me asking. Yes, they were upsetting, but wasn't I entitled to at least a bit of that knowledge? How else was I supposed to know whether my feelings for Jonathan had any hope for surviving a lifetime? * * * * * "Jonathan, I don't know what to do about my mother." "What do you mean?" he asked. It was one of our weekly telephone chats and, as usual, I was asking Jonathan for advice. So far he had proved to be a devoted listener. Not that that surprised me, but after his unsuccessful proposal, I could imagine that he might not be as eager as he had been previously. "Well, she seems better, sort of," I told him. She comes downstairs for dinner and goes out with us sometimes. Last week she went to her friend's birthday party and when she came back it seemed like she enjoyed it. But she's still acting strange. She disappears for hours at a time, and I can't figure out where she's been." "Did you try asking her?" Jonathan asked. Of course he would offer me the most practical solution, the obvious one. "It's hard. I want to know, but most of the time I'm not positive she's left the house; I just can't find her. And I can't be too obvious because I don't want to get Grandmother involved; she'll get all worried and want to double Mother's visits to her psychiatrist." "Maybe that's where your mother's gone: to see the psychiatrist." "I don't know. She doesn't seem to like him very much, so I doubt she'd make any extra visits." In fact, she usually seemed to be in a *worse* mood after the bi-weekly appointments with her therapist. "I think you should try talking to her. It can't hurt. Maybe she's been in the attic or somewhere, looking through old photographs, something innocuous like that," Jonathan suggested. "Maybe I will talk to her. It'll have to be when Grandmother's not around, though. That'll be tough - she says it's her business to know about everything that's going on in the house - but she does have her committee meetings and charity luncheons." "That's probably your best chance, to start." "Speaking of charity luncheons, Grandmother's dragging *me* to one next week. It's supposed to be some mother-daughter fete sponsored by her Women's Club, but she doesn't think Mother's up to it, so she's forcing me to go. She said she would be 'absolutely humiliated' if she had to go alone." And it would be the fourth time that Grandmother had forced me to come along with her somewhere. Once she had even tried to set me up with the grandson of one of her Women's Club friends. I had tried to explain that I wasn't interested; that, in fact, I already had a beau, as Grandfather affectionately called him, in Kansas. But Grandmother was having none of that. She ignored my mentions of Jonathan like she ignored the funks Mother fell into after a visit with her therapist. Sometimes just talking to Grandmother seemed futile; she was going to follow her own mind, and that was that. * * * * * To be continued in part 6 ========================================================================= Date: Fri, 3 Nov 2000 15:13:31 -0000 Reply-To: LabRat Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: LabRat Organization: LabRat Subject: Confusious, he say... MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Researching something for my current wip, I stumbled on this and as it = gave me a chuckle, thought I'd offer it up as solace to all aspiring = authors out there. ********** For writers only -- Every writer has received rejection slips; too many = of them for most. The "Financial Times" has quoted the "mother of all = rejection slips", translated from a Chinese economic journal. It goes = like this:=20 We have read your manuscript with boundless delight. If we were to = publish your paper, it would be impos- sible for us to publish any work = of lower standard. And as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand = years we shall see its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return = your divine composition, and to beg you a thousand times to overlook our = short sight and timidity.=20 The Humanist Association of Canada Spring 1992 Newsletter. ******** Now, that's what I call a backhanded compliment! LabRat :) ========================================================================= Date: Sat, 4 Nov 2000 13:14:45 -0500 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Avia Tikotsky Subject: LAFF 2001 - Dates Again, my apologies to everyone who receives this post more than once. Hello all! We are trying to decide the dates of this year's LAFF and thought a vote is in order. The options are : 1. July 31st until August 4th 2. August 7th until August 11th Please send your preference within the next week either to Chris at cp13607@aol.com or myself at aviatiko@yahoo.com or aviatiko@internet-zahav.net.il Avia on behalf of the LAFF2001 crew ========================================================================= Date: Sat, 4 Nov 2000 14:11:57 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: No Name Available Subject: NEW: Metanoia (6/10) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit TITLE: The Martha Chronicles 3: Metanoia PART: 6/10 AUTHOR: Christy Kubit (attalanta@aol.com) FEEDBACK: All comments are welcome, public or private. SUMMARY: In the third and (maybe) final part of the series, Martha returns home to attend to family problems and tries to maintain a long-distance relationship with Jonathan. * * * * * I watched from the front window as my mother walked down our driveway and to the end of the street. It was a Saturday afternoon, the air cool and crisp, winter on its breath. The wind plucked handfuls of brown, crinkled leaves from their branches, whirling them over the brick-covered streets and cracked concrete sidewalks. Curious, frustrated, and, yes, a little bored, I slipped on a jacket and snuck out the back door after her. I knew she had to be going somewhere; she was walking too quickly, too purposefully, to simply be enjoying a stroll. On my way out I smiled at Nancy, who stood at the sink washing green beans for dinner, and held my index finger to my lips, imploring her to secrecy. She grinned and nodded, then handed me a freshly baked gingersnap for my stake-out. I hadn't seen my mother leave from the front door, so she too must have left from the kitchen. Didn't want Grandmother to know where she was going, eh? I was careful to stay a block or so behind her so she wouldn't get suspicious. I didn't think she would yell or even express much displeasure, but I wanted to see where she was headed; I didn't want her to see me behind her, and turn back around and head home. But she never saw me. I had always thought my mother didn't go anywhere during the day, just stayed in the house, stayed in her own bedroom most of the time. That was what I remembered from my time at home, and what Grandmother had conveyed none too subtly when we spoke on the phone: Mother had imprisoned herself in her own home. Now I wondered if this was really what had happened, or if it was just the way I remembered it. Memories were selective; like strainers, cupping, keeping your beans, your peas, still warm from of the sun, while the dirt ran through with the wash water. Now I couldn't be sure I hadn't just remembered what I had wanted to remember, or maybe what someone else had wanted me to remember. I knew better than to think that the entirety of my childhood memories was false; no, there were things I remembered with 100% sureness, like my summer in Smallville and my father's death. Then there were the memories that existed like the fleeting fog of a steamy summer morning; I knew I had had a first day of school, and I vaguely remembered my parents leaving me off at the overly cheery classroom. I could probably even recall my teacher's name if I tried, but I couldn't remember exactly how I had felt stepping into that classroom for the first time, whether I had been excited or anxious at the sight of dozens of strange children and the one adult who would become a foster parent to us for the next nine months. Then again, maybe I only remembered that day because there were photographs in the family album. There was one of a young, pigtailed Martha standing in front of the house, holding a satchel that I remembered had been red, even though in the black and white photograph it was a dull shade of gray. And there I was again, standing in front of my new school, the faces of strange children dotting the landscape behind me; the veterans scouting the landscape for fresh blood; the kindergartners, tears running down their reddened faces, clutching at mothers' skirts, fathers' ties, too scared to make sure they were grasping the right parent. By then I had followed my mother down a half dozen blocks. We had long ago turned off our street; we were now surrounded by smaller houses, some with crooked shutters or peeling paint, many with bundled-up children playing in the front. Across the street sat a small steepled church. Erected with large rectangular stone blocks, the side facing the street presented heavy wooden double doors and several small windows with old, wavy glass. It was St. Mary's Catholic Church. Sophie's family's church, I remembered suddenly; Nancy and Joseph still went there every Sunday morning. I watched as my mother opened one of the large double doors and without hesitation, went inside. Without thinking I followed her, slipping in before the thick door swung shut. Once my eyes became accustomed to the low light, I could see that the inside of the church was every bit as beautiful as the outside. The center aisle was covered in maroon carpet, and the high walls were carved wood. I looked up to see the ceiling, which was painted with a pale blue sky and puffy white clouds, each lined in a precise stripe of gold. Gold-robed angels peered out from behind the clouds, forgiving smiles on their lips. Rows of long pews lined the single center aisle, and the altar was straight ahead of me and cupped by a wall in the shape of a semi-circle, capped off by a ceiling dome on which was painted a classical rendition of God, arms outstretched, a long white beard disappearing into puffs of clouds. The wall behind the altar was adorned with precise script, brick red in color: "In Him who is the source of my strength I have strength for everything. Phil. 4:13." Scared that my mother would see or hear me, I stepped outside the church proper, into a small nook of an entryway, next to piles of songbooks and church bulletins. From where I was standing I could see the back wall of the church, which contained a single stained glass window showing who I could only assume to be a fairly gruesome rendition of Jesus. Triangles of red dripped from his wrists and ankles, and his tunic, white and glowing, was ripped to reveal shards of flesh. He stood with his arms wide, his sandaled feet arranged as if in a run, away from the outside world, up the aisle and to his father. There were only a handful of other people in the church, all too preoccupied with their own intentions to notice me or my mother. Two old women knelt together in a middle pew, hands folded in prayer and dark lacy veils covering their faces; a middle-aged man stood in the first pew, apparently picking up or arranging something, I couldn't see what. I was glad for the company; if I accidentally made a noise, I didn't want my mother to turn around and see me. Mother walked slowly down the aisle, and I was surprised to see her genuflect when she reached the altar, making what I can only assume was the Sign of the Cross. I had seen Sophie and her parents do it several times, alternately touching their foreheads, chests, and shoulders so automatically that it filled me with envy. We didn't have anything like that at the Presbyterian church my family attended, no secret handshakes or special passwords. My mother slipped into the front pew and, after pulling a small cushion from beneath her seat, knelt down. I decided it was safe to step out into the church, and I sat in the last pew, sliding in next to the wall. After several minutes, my mother sat back down in the pew, and the man in the front of the church exited his pew and headed towards her. I could see now that he was the priest, dressed all in black, the telltale white square on his collar shining even from the back of the church. My mother turned towards him, and I saw them both smile warmly as he sat down beside her. He appeared to take her hands in his, and they began to speak. I couldn't make out the words; only the soft buzz of their voices reached me in the back of the stone-quiet church. I saw the priest nod slowly as my mother spoke. After fifteen minutes of conversation - I checked my watch - the priest leaned over and, as my mother appeared to close her eyes, he kissed her on the forehead, then gave her more than a quick embrace. I glanced around in panic. It looked like they were finishing their talk; my mother was already rising from her seat. If I stood now, she would surely recognize me from behind; I would have to exit the church in front of her. What I had seen was so secret, so intimate, that now more than before I didn't want my mother to know I'd followed her. I held my breath as she said one last good-bye to the priest, pretending, as I had as a child, that if I didn't breathe and closed my eyes - if I scrunched myself into as small a ball as possible - I would become invisible. I had just decided that I could probably fit under the pew in front of me, if I laid down on my stomach. But, by some small stroke of luck or the grace of God - I was betting on the latter, considering the setting - my mother went out a side door I hadn't even noticed. I fell against the back of the pew with a sigh of relief. Staring straight ahead, my eyes locked on the eyes of the God painted behind the altar, I said a quick thank-you. It wasn't that I thought my mother was having an affair with the priest. No, their kiss and hug had been so chaste, so brotherly, that I knew that wasn't the case. But what I saw was no doubt very private, and I didn't want to risk embarrassing my mother by revealing that I'd seen it. I also didn't want to risk worrying her, since I was sure she didn't want my grandmother to know where she had been. For all her church-going and apparent acceptance of Nancy and Joseph's religion, I knew Marion Williams would not want her proper Presbyterian daughter to convert to Catholicism. But I stayed in the church, lost in thought, trying to figure out what my mother was doing and why she felt the need to come to St. Mary's when our own church was just several blocks away from our house, in the other direction. I couldn't reconcile my mother's seemingly contradictory character, the unadulterated selfishness she had exhibited while my father was sick and the rigid devotion she had clung to since. Was she trying to make amends for her old self-centeredness by surrendering herself now? Did she think killing herself was some kind of fair exchange for her inattention to Daddy? I wanted to know; I *needed* to know, but where would I look? Even if I could get my mother to open up to me, it would be nearly impossible to get her alone. Grandmother always seemed to be hovering around, not letting Mother out of her sight long enough to swallow a pill or find a razor. Grandmother even watched Mother take her pills every morning, making sure she swallowed each, recounting the number in the vial every day. For someone who thought my mother's overdose had been an accident, Grandmother was being awfully careful. More than wanting to know what was going on with my mother, though, I dreaded knowing; I was afraid of knowing. The thing that most scared me was that the thoughts that raced around her head, urging her to swallow pills and fall asleep forever, were the same thoughts in my own mind, the thoughts that kept me from making decisions about my life and sticking to them. The worst thing about my mother - the thing that most revulsed me about her - was my likeness to her. I hated the years she had spent in limbo, not living and not yet dead, existing somewhere in between, where no one else could find her. The thing that scared me most about her lack of direction in life, about her indecision, was my own indecision. More than being afraid of losing her, I was afraid of becoming her, of sinking into that same well of obedience and despair. I didn't want to be stuck in a life of regret, of should'ves, a life spent hating my husband, my children, my very self so much that I wanted out. She scared me because I thought I could almost understand her. * * * * * To be continued in Part 7. ========================================================================= Date: Sat, 4 Nov 2000 14:43:11 -0500 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Rich and Dawn Subject: Message Board Index Update through November 3 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Hi FoLCs! Check out http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Meteor/7378/lnc.html for stories posted to Zoom's message board through November 3. New part(s) posted: A LOVE WELL WORTH THE WAIT: TRACEYLYNN FAUX PAS: WENDY RICHARDS HIDING IN THE SHADOWS: IRENE DUTCHAK HOME: MEMORIES: NAN SMITH PERSONAL LOYALTIES: LEUCH (AKA CINDY LEUCH) Completed stories this week: DEAR LOIS: SHAYNE T (AKA SHAYNE TERRY) LOST AND FOUND: JWB (AKA JEFF BROGDEN) New stories this week: HEARTS AND DIAMONDS: SHAYNET (AKA SHAYNE TERRY) THE MARTHA CHRONICLES III – METANOIA: ATTALANTA (AKA CHRISTY KUBIT) THE SWEET SMELL OF SUPERMAN COMPLETE VIGNETTE HATMAN (AKA PAUL) Added to the Archive this week: Clark.doc SuperMom Home II: Beginnings Nan Smith - this is under Beginnings on the index Mxy and Match Tank Wilson and Wendy Richards Seeking Asylum Terry, Shayne Enjoy! The Index Crew ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2000 20:25:04 +0200 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Hazel Subject: Lois & Clarks question Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed Another quick fic question for the list, please: In "Lois and Clarks," does alt-Clark make any references to his life after his exposure as Supes? I don't have a script for this one, so I really have nothing to reference. Any little detail would be much appreciated. Thanks, Hazel _______ "Lots of little Bigwigs, Hazel! Think of that, and tremble!" ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2000 13:12:06 -0700 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Erin Klingler Subject: Fanfic Recommendation MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Hi everyone, I was just surfing through the 'what's new' section of the fanfic Archive, and was pleased to see that one of most recently uploaded stories there was Pam Jernigan's 'Tryst.' For any of you who haven't read this story, don't you dare miss it! I had the pleasure of reading it before it hit the Archive, and I was very impressed at how Pam plotted out this story, and how incredibly original, fresh, and fabulous it was. So if you want a great Sunday read, hurry over to d/l it! I guarantee it'll be worth your time. ;) Back to lurking, Erin :) __________________ erink@ida.net Visit my LNC/Kerth Website: www.ida.net/users/davek ***** "It's not the years that count, it's the moments...right now, as they happen." __________________ ========================================================================= Date: Fri, 1 Jan 1904 15:04:40 +0300 Reply-To: aviatiko@internet-zahav.net.il Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: avia tiokotsky Subject: Re: Fanfic Recommendation MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; x-mac-type="54455854"; x-mac-creator="4D4F5353" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I have to agree, this story is a great read! I was foolish enough to believe I'll have enough willpower to read a little before going to sleep and three hr. later I'm done with the story and any prospect of catching up with my beauty sleep! Go now!!!! Avia (who is off to IRC) Erin Klingler wrote: > Hi everyone, > > I was just surfing through the 'what's new' section of the fanfic Archive, and > was pleased to see that one of most recently uploaded stories there was Pam > Jernigan's 'Tryst.' For any of you who haven't read this story, don't you > dare miss it! I had the pleasure of reading it before it hit the Archive, and > I was very impressed at how Pam plotted out this story, and how incredibly > original, fresh, and fabulous it was. So if you want a great Sunday read, > hurry over to d/l it! I guarantee it'll be worth your time. ;) > > Back to lurking, > > Erin :) > __________________ > erink@ida.net > Visit my LNC/Kerth Website: www.ida.net/users/davek > ***** > "It's not the years that count, it's the moments...right now, as they happen." > __________________ ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2000 18:14:23 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: No Name Available Subject: Re: Lois & Clarks question MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit In a message dated 11/05/2000 1:23:53 PM Eastern Standard Time, zis-s@ACTCOM.CO.IL writes: << In "Lois and Clarks," does alt-Clark make any references to his life after his exposure as Supes? >> Only that he's chronically lonely. --Laurie ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2000 18:23:51 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Annette Ciotola Subject: Re: Fanfic Recommendation MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit In a message dated 11/5/00 3:13:10 PM Eastern Standard Time, erink@IDA.NET writes: > I was just surfing through the 'what's new' section of the fanfic Archive, > and > was pleased to see that one of most recently uploaded stories there was Pam > Jernigan's 'Tryst.' I am going to second (possibly third) this recommendation, I am a little more than halfway through and I am enjoying it! Although, I have a idea of what's gonna happen and I'm trying to stop myself from skipping to the end! I'm hooked! Anne ;) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Nfic Archive http://move.to/nfic (a new quick link URL) My Lois & Clark Web Site http://fly.to/superman.net "If something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck ... chances are pretty good it is a duck." -- LL, SVFAP ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2000 20:37:48 -0500 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Pam Jernigan Organization: http://www.geocities.com/~chiefpam/ Subject: Re: Fanfic Recommendation MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > I was very impressed at how Pam plotted out this story, and how incredibly > original, fresh, and fabulous it was. Aww, thanks, Erin! :) So nice to see you recommending it ... and yes, the check's in the mail. Btw, if you notice that my commas are well-placed, it's all to Erin's credit; she was very thorough in her editing :) which I appreciated. > I was foolish enough to believe I'll have enough willpower to read a little > before going to sleep and three hr. later I'm done with the story and any > prospect of catching up with my beauty sleep! Oops... sorry Avia But I'm glad you liked it. > I am going to second (possibly third) this recommendation, I am a little more > than halfway through and I am enjoying it! Although, I have a idea of what's > gonna happen and I'm trying to stop myself from skipping to the end! I'm > hooked! I have to have a good ending, Anne -- you know where I live! :D Besides, you feed my nfic addiction, so it's important to keep you happy... Glad you're having fun with it :) Thanks guys ... sometimes I wonder if stories posted to the archive will get any response at all; these e-mails were a very nice surprise :) -- Pam Jernigan / ChiefPam / jernigan@bellsouth.net http://www.geocities.com/~chiefpam http://personal.rdu.bellsouth.net/~jernigan/ "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." --Psalm 27:13-14 ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2000 22:14:51 -0600 Reply-To: truitt22@flash.net Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: timothy truitt Organization: tnt technical services Subject: Re: Fanfic Recommendation MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I too want to recommend Pam's "Tryst". It is an excellent story and very different. merry ========================================================================= Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2000 00:08:34 -0500 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: "Marilyn L. Puett" Subject: England Scavenger Hunt Results I WON!!!!! Actually I was one of 3 people who answered all 10 questions correctly. And I couldn't have done it without a little help from my friends. And for those of you who asked what the prize was -- I won a metal diecast replica of a Routemaster double-decker bus! Thanks for your help! Supermom ========================================================================= Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2000 03:57:52 -0800 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: "Irene D." Subject: Re: Fanfic Recommendation MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Pam, I was so pleased to see Tryst uploaded to the archive that I immediately printed it out and read it in one fell swoop. Wow! I thought I remembered how wonderful it really is, but my memories of this story were but a pale imitation. Lyrical, wistful, original and utterly brilliant, Tryst definitely has my vote for a Kerth. Irene ===== sirenegold@yahoo.com __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Thousands of Stores. Millions of Products. All in one Place. http://shopping.yahoo.com/ ========================================================================= Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2000 12:05:32 -0500 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Pam Jernigan Organization: http://www.geocities.com/~chiefpam/ Subject: Re: Fanfic Recommendation MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > I too want to recommend Pam's "Tryst". It is an excellent story and very > different. Thank you, Merry :) I was a little afraid it would be *too* different, but I'm pleased to see that it's not :) > Lyrical, wistful, original and utterly brilliant, > Tryst definitely has my vote for a Kerth. Thank you, Irene, that's high praise. As you know, the story was inspired by a book, and that's pretty much how I'd describe the book (along with magical and enchanting). Since I was trying to match the book's overall tone (while playing fast and loose with everything else about it ), I am utterly delighted by your assessment. And while I'm gratified by all the recommendations, they're getting embarrassing now :) Thanks... -- Pam Jernigan / ChiefPam / jernigan@bellsouth.net http://www.geocities.com/~chiefpam http://personal.rdu.bellsouth.net/~jernigan/ "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." --Psalm 27:13-14 ========================================================================= Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2000 12:49:52 -0500 Reply-To: Kath Roden Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Kath Roden Subject: Re: England Scavenger Hunt Results MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit LOL! Good for you Supermom!! Kath ----- Original Message ----- From: Marilyn L. Puett Subject: England Scavenger Hunt Results > I WON!!!!! Actually I was one of 3 people who answered all 10 questions > correctly. And I couldn't have done it without a little help from my > friends. And for those of you who asked what the prize was -- I won a > metal diecast replica of a Routemaster double-decker bus! > > Thanks for your help! > > Supermom > ========================================================================= Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2000 19:44:18 -0000 Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: Elizabeth Reid Subject: Re: LAFF 2001 - Dates MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit -----Original Message----- From: Avia Tikotsky To: LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU Date: 04 November 2000 18:16 Subject: LAFF 2001 - Dates >Again, my apologies to everyone who receives this post more than once. > >Hello all! >We are trying to decide the dates of this year's LAFF and thought a vote is in order. The options are : >1. July 31st until August 4th >2. August 7th until August 11th >Please send your preference within the next week either to Chris at cp13607@aol.com or myself at >aviatiko@yahoo.com or aviatiko@internet-zahav.net.il > > Avia on behalf of the LAFF2001 crew > >Dear Avia, My preference is August 7 until August 11th. I hope to be able to attend. Liz ereid@iol.ie ========================================================================= Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2000 22:35:20 EST Reply-To: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" Sender: "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic" From: No Name Available Subject: NEW: Metanoia (7/10) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable TITLE: The Martha Chronicles 3: Metanoia PART: 7/10 AUTHOR: Christy Kubit (attalanta@aol.com) FEEDBACK: All comments are welcome, public or private. SUMMARY: In the third and (maybe) final part of the series, Martha returns=20 home to attend to family problems and tries to maintain a long-distance=20 relationship with Jonathan. * * * * * The previous day Sophie had come by our house to see Joseph and Nancy, and=20 the two of us had gotten into a long discussion about destiny. She had just=20 read an article in a magazine about a man and woman who seemed fated for eac= h=20 other; they met as grade school classmates, then parted after high school=20 graduation. Then they met again a few years later when the man and his wife=20 moved next door to the woman and her family. But the woman=E2=80=99s husband= was=20 transferred, so they parted yet again, only to meet up again, decades later,= =20 on vacation abroad. This time, though, they weren=E2=80=99t separated, and,=20= both=20 having been recently widowed, they began dating and were soon wed. Sophie and I marveled at the story, and at the prospect that there might be=20 someone out there for each of us, someone to whom we were destined to meet=20 and marry. What were the chances of those two people meeting over and over=20 again, separating when their lives took them in opposite directions, only to= =20 meet and become a couple? It had to have been fate giving them a second and=20 then a third chance to get it right. I couldn=E2=80=99t wait to try the idea out on Jonathan the next time we spo= ke on the=20 phone. We always had the most interesting discussions on what were some of=20 the most unusual topics, and I missed him and our talks, which swelled to th= e=20 level of argument when we got carried away. We=E2=80=99d talked about everyt= hing from=20 politics to religion, and we didn=E2=80=99t always agree. In fact, we *usual= ly*=20 didn=E2=80=99t agree, but it made the debate more interesting, each of us tr= ying to=20 convert the other, to gain a turn in the conversation. =E2=80=9CJonathan, do you think that could be possible, that there=E2=80=99s= someone out=20 there, just for each of us?=E2=80=9D I asked him on the phone that afternoon= . =E2=80=9CDo=20 you think there=E2=80=99s just one person in the world who=E2=80=99s meant f= or you to love?=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CNo.=E2=80=9D The strength and immediacy of his answer stung me, almost caused me to drop=20 the phone. =E2=80=9COh,=E2=80=9D I said. =E2=80=9CWhy not?=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CIt=E2=80=99s just so unlikely. Even if there was one person who was= somehow a=20 perfect match for everyone, what=E2=80=99s the probability we=E2=80=99d find= them in our=20 lifetime? Even if the person beat the odds and happened to be born on the=20 same continent as us, chances are we *still* wouldn=E2=80=99t meet them. How= many=20 people are there in Boston that you haven=E2=80=99t met?=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CWell, there are a lot, but I think it=E2=80=99s possible; anything= =E2=80=99s possible.=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CIt=E2=80=99s just too unlikely,=E2=80=9D Jonathan retorted. I sighed. =E2=80=9CAnyway, maybe each of us have one *absolutely* perfect ma= tch, but=20 maybe there are lots of people we could love =E2=80=93 could be happy with=20= =E2=80=93 but=20 maybe there=E2=80=99s one single person who would just be a exact fit,=E2= =80=9D I mused,=20 thinking of Sophie=E2=80=99s couple, their apparently successful marriages t= o other=20 people, and their subsequent marriage to each other. =E2=80=9CIt doesn=E2=80=99t matter, though,=E2=80=9D Jonathan conceded reluc= tantly. =E2=80=9CWe won=E2=80=99t ever=20 find out either way, so it=E2=80=99s not really worth arguing over.=E2=80= =9D =E2=80=9CI guess not,=E2=80=9D I said, dejected. The truth was, I didn=E2= =80=99t want to *argue*=20 about it; I just wanted to talk, the way we used to. =E2=80=9CYou don=E2=80=99t have to get *mad* at me. I just don=E2=80=99t thi= nk it=E2=80=99s likely, that=E2=80=99s=20 all.=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CFine,=E2=80=9D I said flatly. =E2=80=9CFine,=E2=80=9D he said. =E2=80=9CMartha, I=E2=80=99ve got to go. On= e of our cows is sick and the=20 vet=E2=80=99s just arrived.=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9COkay.=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CTalk to you later,=E2=80=9D he said before the phone clicked off in= to an=20 insensitive dial tone. I listened to the drone for a minute before hanging u= p=20 my end of the line. * * * * * I was awakened by a sound from downstairs, a sound like breaking glass=E2= =80=A6 like=20 breaking a window. I pulled on my robe and hurried downstairs, my bare feet=20 slapping against the wooden floor, adrenaline surging through my veins and=20 leaving behind waves of nausea. The nausea didn=E2=80=99t disappear when I saw that it was my mother in the=20= kitchen,=20 wearing her robe and pajamas, surrounded by a scatter of glass slivers and a= =20 spreading puddle of wetness. The kitchen was dark, save a single shaft of=20 light illumining the floor where she knelt, barefoot. My breath caught in my throat and wordlessly I slid onto my knees and=20 gathered up as many pieces of glass as I could, shoveling them carefully int= o=20 the palm of my hand. We crawled across the cold terra cotta tiles, picking=20 out glass and mopping the water. I held my hand out and my mother deposited=20 the slivers she=E2=80=99d collected. I sighed, relieved, scared of what Moth= er could=20 have done with those pieces if I hadn=E2=80=99t come downstairs. =E2=80=9CAre you okay?=E2=80=9D I demanded, gathering the splinters of glass= into a kitchen=20 towel. =E2=80=9CI=E2=80=99m fine, not hurt at all.=E2=80=9D Something caught my eye and I glanced up at the counter. Was it my=20 imagination or was there a bottle of pills sitting there? That wasn=E2=80= =99t a note=20 next to the bottle, was it? I scrambled to my feet and seized the bottle,=20 then sighed again, relaxing back against the counter. I put my hand to my=20 head, trying to ease the frenetic pounding. The bottle contained my grandfather=E2=80=99s vitamins; the note was a recip= e card of=20 Nancy=E2=80=99s and, on second look, they were pushed back to the wall; they= hadn=E2=80=99t=20 been just placed there in a panic when my mother dropped her glass. I tried=20 to make myself relax into my body but I couldn=E2=80=99t. I had to stay aler= t. I had=20 to think; what if she tried something else? The adrenaline was still crawlin= g=20 through my fingertips, coursing through the coils of my brain, when my mothe= r=20 placed her hand on my back. I spun around to face her, en guarde. Her voice was soft but un-weak. =E2=80=9CMartha, you=E2=80=99re wrong. I kno= w what you=E2=80=99re=20 thinking and you=E2=80=99re wrong.=E2=80=9D I tried to laugh it off, but the sound caught in my throat like I was being=20 strangled. =E2=80=9CMartha, come here. Sit with me,=E2=80=9D Mother said, and I sat dow= n next to her at=20 the kitchen table. We sat for a minute in silence, and I studied her face. N= o=20 longer did she look like the ghost who had barely existed in a hospital bed=20 just weeks ago. Her pale red hair fell to her shoulders in soft waves. Her=20 face looked younger, her cheeks now pinked. But the biggest change was her=20 eyes. A pale, clear blue, they shone, almost glowed, from their deep sockets= .=20 When I looked into them I could feel a presence, almost =E2=80=93 oddly enou= gh =E2=80=93 a=20 *strength.* I couldn=E2=80=99t remember the last time I had looked into her=20= eyes and=20 felt anything other than sadness, pity for her. =E2=80=9CAre you okay?=E2=80=9D This time it was her asking me. I allowed my= self a small=20 smile. =E2=80=9CI=E2=80=99m fine, Mother, just a little jumpy, I guess. I=E2=80=99d= just fallen asleep when=20 I heard the glass break, and now I=E2=80=99m completely awake. I thought it=20= might be=20 a burglar or something.=E2=80=9D My mother smiled. =E2=80=9CAnd you were going to come down and take him on y= ourself?=E2=80=9D I laughed. =E2=80=9CI guess I was going to try.=E2=80=9D Mother shook her head, then went over and removed a glass from a cupboard,=20 filled it with water. =E2=80=9CDo you want anything?=E2=80=9D she asked, and= I nodded. =E2=80=9CJust water,=E2=80=9D I told her, and she filled another glass. We d= rank our water=20 quietly; I didn=E2=80=99t know about her, but I was gathering courage. =E2=80=9CMama, what was it like? The pills and the hospital,=E2=80=9D I whis= pered, afraid to=20 say the words =E2=80=93 afraid to hear them =E2=80=93 but needing to know. I= hoped she=20 understood me; I didn=E2=80=99t want to know what it was like to stay in a h= ospital=20 or get your stomach pumped; no, what I wanted to know was what it felt like=20 to decide, at that final minute, to take a handful of chalky tablets, to giv= e=20 up your life with a single swallow. What was it like to abandon any hope for= =20 a future? And was that ability to give up inside me, too? She understood and, in the near-darkness of the kitchen, her story blossomed= =20 and grew without bounds, without pause for breath. Sitting across from her a= t=20 the table, I could just make out half of her face, lit by the bulb still=20 burning near the sink. The right half of her face spoke slowly, painfully, a= s=20 if waiting for the left side =E2=80=93 the dark side =E2=80=93to catch up. =E2=80=9CMartha, I don=E2=80=99t know how to explain it. I just didn=E2=80= =99t know what to do. I=20 couldn=E2=80=99t stand it for one more day. It was like I was underwater, we= ighted=20 down by ten feet of ice-cold water. I couldn=E2=80=99t really see or hear an= ything at=20 the surface, and I couldn=E2=80=99t make myself care about any of it. But it= was even=20 worse than that; it was like *I* was the water, pushing myself down and=20 sinking to the bottom. =E2=80=9CIn that last month, I thought about suicide twenty-four hours a day= ; I=20 dreamt about it when I slept. I had to force myself *not* to imagine dying.=20= I=20 woke up in the morning and prayed I would fall back to sleep, that I could=20 lose just one more minute in that unknowing haze.=20 =E2=80=9COne of your grandmother=E2=80=99s aunts died like that; she just fe= ll asleep and=20 didn=E2=80=99t wake up the next morning. The doctors never knew what happene= d to her,=20 just that she=E2=80=99d had fallen into a coma, peaceful and serene; I had t= o fight=20 so hard to stop myself from praying for that coma every night.=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CBut why?=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CI don=E2=80=99t know why. Well, maybe I do know. I was a complete f= ailure. What had=20 I accomplished? The only thing I=E2=80=99d ever done worth anything was take= care of=20 your father, and I didn=E2=80=99t even do that right!=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9DIt wasn=E2=80=99t your fault he died,=E2=80=9D I said, but all I th= ought about was myself;=20 wasn=E2=80=99t *I* worth anything to her? =E2=80=9CI know, but I=E2=80=99d spent years taking care of him, and suddenl= y it was all=20 over and I didn=E2=80=99t know what to do. I had no job, not even any clubs=20= or=20 charity activities like your grandmother. You were grown up; my friends were= =20 all married. No one wanted the poor widow tagging along. I had nothing. I=20 guess that=E2=80=99s the danger in living for other people =E2=80=93 your hu= sband or your=20 child -=E2=80=9D Or your parents, I thought. =E2=80=9C-eventually they leave you. And then you don=E2=80=99t know what to= do; you don=E2=80=99t=20 even know how to live.=E2=80=9D But that wasn=E2=80=99t how I remembered it. Not at all. I remembered Daddy=20= lying in=20 his bed while Mother had tea with friends. I remembered the summer Mother=20 took painting lessons at a nearby college, while Daddy spent weeks alone in=20= a=20 cold hospital bed. I wondered if my memory could be trusted. Could Mother really have been that= =20 selfish, or was I just a confused kid looking for someone to blame for my=20 father=E2=80=99s death? And how selfish was I, now, trying to puzzle out my=20= mother=E2=80=99s=20 past sins? But how could I make any decisions for my future without=20 understanding my past? =E2=80=9CBut it seems like you=E2=80=99re feeling better now,=E2=80=9D I won= dered. =E2=80=9CI am.=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CDid the doctors give you new medication or something?=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CThey did, but that=E2=80=99s not it,=E2=80=9D she said. =E2=80=9CYo= u know I=E2=80=99ve been seeing a=20 therapist for years; frankly, I=E2=80=99ve never gotten anything out of him.= I just=20 don=E2=80=99t trust him. He seems to be listening but all he does is nod and= murmur.=20 He doesn=E2=80=99t even offer any advice; he wants me to figure everything o= ut for=20 myself, but if I could do that, I wouldn=E2=80=99t need him,=E2=80=9D she sa= id with a=20 strained laugh. =E2=80=9CDid you ever try a new therapist?=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CI wanted to, in the beginning. I asked your grandmother about it, b= ut Dr.=20 Mills is the son of a friend of hers, and she said switching would be=20 *uncomfortable.* I should have done it anyway; I know that now. But I let he= r=20 convince me to give it a few more months; maybe I=E2=80=99d get to like him=20= better=20 and he could help me. But I didn=E2=80=99t, and he didn=E2=80=99t, and by th= en it was too=20 late. I didn=E2=80=99t care enough about it to pick a fight with your grandm= other, so=20 I just let it go.=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CAre you still seeing him?=E2=80=9D She smiled. =E2=80=9CNo,=E2=80=9D she said, almost boasting. =E2=80=9CI saw=20= another therapist in the=20 hospital and he wasn=E2=80=99t any better. But he did prescribe some new med= ication=20 for me, and that helped a little. But what helped most is another visitor I=20 had in the hospital=E2=80=A6 Martha, have you ever met Joseph=E2=80=99s brot= her, Shannon?=E2=80=9D I shook my head. From Sophie, I knew Joseph came from a big family, several=20 brothers and one sister, but I didn=E2=80=99t know any of them personally. =E2=80=9CShannon is actually *Father* Shannon, of St. Mary=E2=80=99s Catholi= c Church,=E2=80=9D she=20 said, and I could see the pieces fall into place: the church, her=20 disappearances. It suddenly made sense. =E2=80=9CJoseph asked him to visit me when I was in the hospital. Shannon sp= ends one=20 day a week at the hospital, visiting parishioners and strangers. He was so= =E2=80=A6=20 so=E2=80=A6 I don=E2=80=99t know; he=E2=80=99s just a wondrous person, peace= ful and caring. He=20 actually listens to me, and he isn=E2=80=99t afraid to give advice, or even=20= to tell=20 me he doesn=E2=80=99t know sometimes. But he always tells me he=E2=80=99ll p= ray for me. I=E2=80=99m=20 not sure why that helps, but it does; maybe it=E2=80=99s just that someone i= s caring=20 about me all on his own, without being paid, without any obligation. He did=20= a=20 favor for Joseph that first visit, but every other time it=E2=80=99s all him= .=E2=80=9D =E2=80=9CDo you still see him?=E2=80=9D I asked, knowing from following her=20= that she did,=20 but not wanting to give myself away. I wanted to hold onto this conversation= =20 as long as I could; I couldn=E2=80=99t remember the last time my mother and=20= I had=20 talked like this, honest without reservation, without worry of being=20 overheard. =E2=80=9CSeveral times a week. And I=E2=80=99ve stopped seeing Dr. Mills. I=20= told him I=20 wanted to see the new doctor, the one the hospital assigned to me, and the=20 new doctor thinks I=E2=80=99m still seeing Dr. Mills.=E2=80=9D We exchanged=20= smiles. =E2=80=9CI know=20 it=E2=80=99s childish and dishonest and it=E2=80=99ll probably blow up in my= face any day=20 now, but I just can=E2=80=99t stand seeing either one of them again. Shannon= is=20 wonderful, a more effective therapist than I=E2=80=99ve ever seen. He doesn= =E2=80=99t=20 pretend to know everything about me then refuse to share it. And he doesn= =E2=80=99t=20 judge; he just listens and tries to help. I can tell him everything. =E2=80=9CDid I tell you that for weeks I wasn=E2=80=99t taking my pills; I j= ust flushed them=20 down the toilet, one a day. Then when I realized what I was doing =E2=80=93=20= that the=20 pills had the power to take me away from everything =E2=80=93 I started stor= ing them=20 up until I had enough. I thought about them all the time; I couldn=E2=80=99t= stop=20 myself from imagining the pills lined up on the bathroom sink counter, white= =20 footsteps... a way out. I told Shannon that and he wept; he actually cried=20 with me. So different from those detached Freuds I saw. I don=E2=80=99t thin= k I=E2=80=99ve=20 ever seen a grown man *weep* like that. =E2=80=9CHe loves me without reason or prejudice; he doesn=E2=80=99t care ho= w much money I=20 have, where I live; he doesn=E2=80=99t even care that I=E2=80=99m not Cathol= ic. He loves me=20 just for being there, for being myself and being alive.=E2=80=9D By now Mother was crying and it wasn=E2=80=99t until she handed me a handker= chief=20 that I realized I was too. She hugged me with a strength I haven=E2=80=99t f= elt from=20 her in years, with a strength I knew I didn=E2=80=99t have, and I almost cru= mbled=20 from shame in thinking about her =E2=80=98selfishness=E2=80=99 during my fat= her=E2=80=99s illness;=20 in truth, she had been devoted =E2=80=93 and almost consumed =E2=80=93 by it= . * * * * * To be continued in part 8